My current job hunting situation is rather unpleasant. I must find a better way to go about this and enjoy the uncertainty and opportunities. It has to be more fun that it is right now.
The possibility of leaving Japan is making me extremely anxious. I would very much like to stay in Tokyo, but if I have better opportunities elsewhere, I must move on. However, the thought of having to leave is making me quite upset. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night already feeling what I would miss. I've appreciated everything along the way, but leaving it all behind even to pursue new adventures is still rather heart wrenching. I have had incredibly great fortune in finding family and good friends.
Why is it so difficult to move on this time? Possible factors are:
1. uncertainty of job (at this moment)
2. leaving a home where I've had all the attention I could ever want from my godmother
3. loss of self-confidence
I think if I can build up my self-confidence again, a lot of these fears would subside. There are bigger and better things waiting ahead. Whatever that comes is fate, and seeing how I've done in the past, I should do just as well and get even better. I shouldn't be afraid of anything. I just need to get out there and prove that I can do what I want to do and become the best at it. My friends will always be here for me, and definitely so will my family. Location, industry, stability are all taking a back seat. It's time to go after what I want with no fear and no regrets. There. Hopefully I can sleep tonight.
Saturday, 21 August 2004
Thursday, 11 March 2004
Dear lovely family and friends,
Thank you very much for a wonderful surprise birthday party! It truly meant very much to me. I had forgotten what it was like to be so pleasantly surprised.
They say that all that is well, ends well. And it surely did. The three days prior to returning to Tokyo were terribly rough for me. One after another, unfortunate situations occured. Some of those situations, I could have controlled, but among those that I could not was receiving news of the death of a childhood friend. On the plane that I nearly missed, I cried the whole way.
However, upon exiting customs and seeing Mr. Mitsuhashi's ever smiling face and beaming confidence, I instantly felt much better.
On the way home, the excessive exchange of phone calls between Mr. M and my godmom presented a pleasant distraction. Who in the world keeps calling in, starting from "I have Michella now" to "we are leaving the airport now" to "we are 30 minutes away" to "we are coming out of Kasumigaseki now" to "we are downstairs now" to "we are going upstairs now"? And every time, I could hear Mama on the other side of the phone saying "WHAT??? oh...no...ok...ok..." with the pitch increasing as we got closer to home.
I was thinking to myself, "this is great. I am moving from one crazy set of parents to another." After a terrible three days and not properly saying goodbye to my parents before I left, "so much for turning 25," was what I thought.
I had also forced out all expectations and was ready to come home to the stereo playing music from the 60's and seeing Mama in inch-thick glasses, plastered in front of the computer, drinking strange tea I can't even pronounce, and talking to the sleeping dog.
Rather, when I stepped out of the lift, Mama was there to greet me (no thick glasses). It was sure a sigh of relief (although a bit strange). I had only seen her five days ago so she can't be already missing rubbing my mis-cut head of hair. When we walked into the flat, there was Pearl and Dango staring at me in the dark and the smell of incense and gunpowder was floating about. I've heard of dogs smoking cigars and reading the paper on the couch while the owners are gone, but I've never heard of dogs playing with fire! In I go with Princess Paola in my arms, and Dango dancing around my feet, and then..."SURPRISE!!!" And you know how it went. Days of planning and coordinating spun into place and put a very happy memory in a girl's life.
All the stress and agony that built up in the days that led to this was gone in the crackle of a party popper. All the insecurities of being in a place I didn't grow up was erased by the smiling faces of family and friends I have been fortunate enough to find here.
I am a lucky girl. Thank you all for being there for me, from Tokyo to Taipei to Caifornia to other parts of the world. Thank you so much for your ecards, presents and well wishes, even if you could not be here.
You can view photos from the party here: http://homepage.mac.com/michella.weng/PhotoAlbum14.html
Love,
Michella
Thank you very much for a wonderful surprise birthday party! It truly meant very much to me. I had forgotten what it was like to be so pleasantly surprised.
They say that all that is well, ends well. And it surely did. The three days prior to returning to Tokyo were terribly rough for me. One after another, unfortunate situations occured. Some of those situations, I could have controlled, but among those that I could not was receiving news of the death of a childhood friend. On the plane that I nearly missed, I cried the whole way.
However, upon exiting customs and seeing Mr. Mitsuhashi's ever smiling face and beaming confidence, I instantly felt much better.
On the way home, the excessive exchange of phone calls between Mr. M and my godmom presented a pleasant distraction. Who in the world keeps calling in, starting from "I have Michella now" to "we are leaving the airport now" to "we are 30 minutes away" to "we are coming out of Kasumigaseki now" to "we are downstairs now" to "we are going upstairs now"? And every time, I could hear Mama on the other side of the phone saying "WHAT??? oh...no...ok...ok..." with the pitch increasing as we got closer to home.
I was thinking to myself, "this is great. I am moving from one crazy set of parents to another." After a terrible three days and not properly saying goodbye to my parents before I left, "so much for turning 25," was what I thought.
I had also forced out all expectations and was ready to come home to the stereo playing music from the 60's and seeing Mama in inch-thick glasses, plastered in front of the computer, drinking strange tea I can't even pronounce, and talking to the sleeping dog.
Rather, when I stepped out of the lift, Mama was there to greet me (no thick glasses). It was sure a sigh of relief (although a bit strange). I had only seen her five days ago so she can't be already missing rubbing my mis-cut head of hair. When we walked into the flat, there was Pearl and Dango staring at me in the dark and the smell of incense and gunpowder was floating about. I've heard of dogs smoking cigars and reading the paper on the couch while the owners are gone, but I've never heard of dogs playing with fire! In I go with Princess Paola in my arms, and Dango dancing around my feet, and then..."SURPRISE!!!" And you know how it went. Days of planning and coordinating spun into place and put a very happy memory in a girl's life.
All the stress and agony that built up in the days that led to this was gone in the crackle of a party popper. All the insecurities of being in a place I didn't grow up was erased by the smiling faces of family and friends I have been fortunate enough to find here.
I am a lucky girl. Thank you all for being there for me, from Tokyo to Taipei to Caifornia to other parts of the world. Thank you so much for your ecards, presents and well wishes, even if you could not be here.
You can view photos from the party here: http://homepage.mac.com/michella.weng/PhotoAlbum14.html
Love,
Michella
Friday, 28 November 2003
BGM: Diana Krall's Live in Paris
Good afternoon everyone!
I took Grandpa and Grandma Ongg to Thanksgiving dinner last night at a Californian restaurant in Ebisu (Tokyo) called "Cabana." The food was not traditional home-style or lavish hotel style, but it was nice, light (quite an oxymoron to "Thanksgiving dinner"), expectedly chic, and rather satisfying. Grandma seemed quite happy and the usual platonic Grandpa seemed like he might have enjoyed the slight change from the usual. I took a few pictures.
The course started with a mango sparkling wine, which Grandpa and Grandma opted to replace with just mango juice. Of course, I had the more exciting original version. The first course was large servings of Caesar's salad with just the right amount of ground anchovies in the dressing and shaved parmesan cheese dressed over the top. Next marched in chic little bowls of pumpkin soup with a little bit of whisked cream spiraled into the soup at the top. Then we were presented with a triangle of neatly stacked rosemary roasted turkey with a light gravy, accompanied by a small tower of creamy mashed potatoes decorated with colorful vegetables on the side, and of course...a cut of fresh bread pudding with a pleasant hint of rum. Coincidentally, one of the two American expats at the next table was celebrating his birthday, so when the waitress brought the cake lit by thin, sparkling candles against the dim but warmly lit background, the entire restaurant joined in singing a happy birthday to him. What a lucky fellow to be away from home, yet surrounded by friends and other well-wishers on Thanksgiving Day. What a lucky girl I am to be in a foreign land and still have family to celebrate Thanksgiving with! To finish the night of appreciation for our loved ones and everything we have, we were brought a pumpkin seed and walnut pie laced with caramel on a deliciously crumbly crust and topped with a fluffy scoop of whipped cream accompanied by a beautifully spooned serving of vanilla ice cream next to a small pool of bittersweet chocolate syrup that even Grandma finished!
The food was wonderful and the company I had it with made everything work. Without the right people to enjoy the cuisine with, the best dishes made by the most famous of chefs in the world will taste bland. Thanksgiving means a great deal to me, having spent most of my adolescence in the U.S. It's like Chinese New Year, where everyone goes home to be with Mom and Dad that they haven't seen or probably even called in...probably too long. It's a time to catch up on what the brothers and sisters have been doing lately while being put to work by General Mom in her kitchen supervised by the family dogs, and seeing what new additions to the family there has been while losing to them at Monopoly by the warmth of the welcoming fire in the living room.
It looks like the older we get, the more we'll be able to appreciate these moments. So I suppose growing up isn't such a terrible thing after all! In any case, I'm looking forward to Christmas!
Good afternoon everyone!
I took Grandpa and Grandma Ongg to Thanksgiving dinner last night at a Californian restaurant in Ebisu (Tokyo) called "Cabana." The food was not traditional home-style or lavish hotel style, but it was nice, light (quite an oxymoron to "Thanksgiving dinner"), expectedly chic, and rather satisfying. Grandma seemed quite happy and the usual platonic Grandpa seemed like he might have enjoyed the slight change from the usual. I took a few pictures.
The course started with a mango sparkling wine, which Grandpa and Grandma opted to replace with just mango juice. Of course, I had the more exciting original version. The first course was large servings of Caesar's salad with just the right amount of ground anchovies in the dressing and shaved parmesan cheese dressed over the top. Next marched in chic little bowls of pumpkin soup with a little bit of whisked cream spiraled into the soup at the top. Then we were presented with a triangle of neatly stacked rosemary roasted turkey with a light gravy, accompanied by a small tower of creamy mashed potatoes decorated with colorful vegetables on the side, and of course...a cut of fresh bread pudding with a pleasant hint of rum. Coincidentally, one of the two American expats at the next table was celebrating his birthday, so when the waitress brought the cake lit by thin, sparkling candles against the dim but warmly lit background, the entire restaurant joined in singing a happy birthday to him. What a lucky fellow to be away from home, yet surrounded by friends and other well-wishers on Thanksgiving Day. What a lucky girl I am to be in a foreign land and still have family to celebrate Thanksgiving with! To finish the night of appreciation for our loved ones and everything we have, we were brought a pumpkin seed and walnut pie laced with caramel on a deliciously crumbly crust and topped with a fluffy scoop of whipped cream accompanied by a beautifully spooned serving of vanilla ice cream next to a small pool of bittersweet chocolate syrup that even Grandma finished!
The food was wonderful and the company I had it with made everything work. Without the right people to enjoy the cuisine with, the best dishes made by the most famous of chefs in the world will taste bland. Thanksgiving means a great deal to me, having spent most of my adolescence in the U.S. It's like Chinese New Year, where everyone goes home to be with Mom and Dad that they haven't seen or probably even called in...probably too long. It's a time to catch up on what the brothers and sisters have been doing lately while being put to work by General Mom in her kitchen supervised by the family dogs, and seeing what new additions to the family there has been while losing to them at Monopoly by the warmth of the welcoming fire in the living room.
It looks like the older we get, the more we'll be able to appreciate these moments. So I suppose growing up isn't such a terrible thing after all! In any case, I'm looking forward to Christmas!
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