Saturday, 18 June 2005

The Price of Imperfection

What a first day of the week. I had a day off yesterday, after 10 straight days, counting the days I was in Yu Shan.

My boss was having a terrible day, and I made two mistakes while doing the work of two people, with the combination of skills that no one else in the station has, and was then accused of assigning the little work she thought I had to the intern.

I really love what I do, and I work very hard at it. Almost all of my time I spend awake is goes into our show. I work six days a week, sometimes more. I stay late to finish work I don't have to. I don't leave my desk to buy or eat dinner because I am continuously working. All of the extra effort I put into it is my own choice, and I am not asking to be compensated or pitied in any way for it. But when someone thinks I am being lazy, I take that very personally. Very little can be worse than negative appreciation.

However, I did make two mistakes today, and paid for it, more than anyone else would have had to--the price of imperfection to a perfectionist.

Sometimes I wonder why I let people get away with being unwarrantedly rude to me.

I must just say, the poor lady was having a bad day and I gave her a chance to finish it off a little happier, at just a small cost to me.

Therefore, I win. And I learned a few things, too.

I do feel better.

On the brighter side, the people at Warner Video seemed to like me quite a bit and also said that I reminded them of Audrey Hepburn. That is a great compliment. I really appreciated it. It was worth the agony I had to go through during the rest of the day.

A big thank-you to John the video editor for listening to my tale of woe and his patience in cutting my Hiking Yu Shan story.

Many kisses to my friends and family for caring and reading until the end.

Wednesday, 15 June 2005

Late Night at the Office

It's 05h15, I see light outside my window and I just climbed into bed. I spent most of the night at the office, finishing a story that I couldn't during the day, preparing for other stories I have lined up and trying to figure out what to do with myself.

As much as I dislike staying up so late, the solitude was great for concentration. While it's been next to impossible for me to think clearly during regular work hours.

Thursday, 9 June 2005

Almost Back on Track

What a day.

One of my favorite editors calls Cabernet Sauvignons "a slap in the face that won't give you a headache.* I agree with him. If I'm not careful, the first sip takes me by surprise. It's nice in the sense that it doesn't get any stronger after the initial bite right when it makes contact with the palate, but I really don't need a slap in the face at 23h30 when I get home every night. Father finished the Merlot I opened last week, so I have been left with the Cabernet slapping me all week. I finally finished the last of it. Tomorrow, I'll start on something else. I thought I saw some Opus One in there...

The first thing I do is make sure I have a little bit of food in my stomach, and I pour myself a glass of wine. Chang-sensei told me to leave some time between the wine and bed, so it doesn't stay in my stomach too long. That makes sense.

I am a little less tired now, especially with all the activity going on. I've been riding more, painting more regularly and starting to report again. On top of that, my producer assigned an intern to me.

The News MD still won't let me anchor, but I suppose I'm making progress, little by little. I think reporting more would really help, because then my performance can be seen. They can see my progress and so can I. It's a good way for everyone to know where I am and what I need to work on more.

It's so nice to feel more motivated than before. I still feel quite lazy and brainless sometimes, but those times have become a little less. Like Mama says, if you really want to be great, you have to work three times as hard and three times as smart as the others. I want to be great. I need to find a way to be that.

Again I have let myself stay up late. I'm interviewing the head of the British Trade and Culture Office, the de facto British embassy in Taiwan, and I still haven't looked at the additional footage they've made available to me. The story's on the UK coming out on top along with France after an evaluation on the 2012 Olympic bids came out. I had my intern come up with questions, and she did a good job. We'll see how it goes.

Which means:
07h10 wake up
08h10 wash hair, make-up
09h10 leave home
10h10 arrive at office
10h30 leave for BTCO
11h00 - 11h30 interview
write story, edit video
send questions on James Dean story for interview next week
do final research on Jade Mtn for story/hike this weekend

And that leaves me with les than 6 hours of sleep to be had tonight. Sleeping this late and this little is terrible for health and beauty. How do I get out of the habit?

Sunday, 5 June 2005

A Good Reason to Play

On TV: pre-recorded CSI

My eyes are 4/5 of the way closed.

Another week sped through of which I barely hung on to. I was tired and had a hard time focusing starting Day One. It was a nightmare, until Thursday.

I had several things planned before work during the week, and I could only get myself to finish just 1 of them. Although it was painful, I still got up, but I just couldn't bring myself to finish breakfast, get ready and leave the house. I don't know where all the time went. I was so fed up with myself and I told Mom that before leaving to buy Wise's graduation present on Thursday.

She said I need to start horseback riding again. What wisdom. I instantly felt better.

I kept putting off time I needed to spend for myself and instead tried to do things that I thought I should rather be doing. Here's a lesson on managing the balance between one's professional and private life.

Friday morning, I rode, Saturday morning, I sketched. I'm feeling much better. Thank goodness for mothers.

The Cabernet Sauvignon is making me sleepy.

Good night, everybody.