Survival mode

My desk, after some de-cluttering


My newest friend - Lady's slipper orchid





It's been one month since I decided to stick it out at work and to deal with the fatigue somehow. For three weeks, I've limited myself to only going from home to work and back home after work. Social events for work and yoga and one wedding were the only exceptions. No friends, no family; I've stripped everything down. It feels like hell week when I was doing crew in college - row, eat, sleep, lift, eat, sleep, row, eat, sleep, row, eat, row, row, row... Except this hell week has been going on for three weeks and I don't know for how many more months it will last.

Aside from when I have to write my stories, I've been trying not to think, and it's been hard. It's also been hard trying not to try too hard, if that makes any sense at all. Sometimes I still end up really stressed out, and sometimes I end up producing work that is almost questionable.

I'm still tired, but I think at least the fatigue hasn't gotten worse. But then because of the typhoon and of the night shift, I haven't had to get up in front of millions of people to blunder through the news in Taiwanese for a few good weeks. And since I'm on the night shift, I don't have to deal with my boss more than half as much as I normally have to. I don't know how things will change next week, or how well tomorrow will go, all I care about right now is just getting through each day, one story at a time.

I never thought I'd enjoy being alone, but I'm really enjoying it now. I never thought I would ever like the rain, but even the sound of car tires running along a wet road sounds nice to me these days. Rather than spending time with friends, I've been spending time with my flowers, looking at them, and buying more of them. Rather than listening to family talk about their latest happenings, I've been listening to music - mostly classical music. This doesn't sound like me, but I think I'm enjoying being someone else, for now.