Relief and pain

Went cycling by myself last night after work, from home to 關渡 Guandu and back. It was about 52 km. On the way back, it got really windy and cold, my left IT band froze up and it was just so painful! On top of that, something between 圓山 Grand Hotel (my usual turning point) and Guandu gave me an allergy attack and I'm still suffering today. I think I scared some people on the street with the way I looked. Well it could be worse. At least the asthma didn't come on this time. I didn't want to take medicine because it always made me so drowsy and stupid. It's hard to choose what's worse - symptoms or lethargy and being dumb. Once the nose started running nonstop, I chose to go with lethargy and being dumb. Never am I going back there again. Or riding 52 km nonstop. Still in pain.

The reason why I went riding for so long after work was because everything I have been worrying about lately all came to an end and I was so excited I couldn't calm down. The show I had hosted aired yesterday and I was quite pleased with how I did, it being my first show hosting gig and in three languages. There was no meltdown, though I was melting underneath my skin. I kept playing with my hands and pen, and making these very strange gestures that reminds me of my managing director. I still have yet to figure out what to do with my hands when I'm nervous. The concerts concluded yesterday as well. I don't know why I was so worried about them, but it was a relief to know that the last 2 shows went well really it seems.

The next time I can't calm down and sleep, I think I'll just take a sleeping pill or allergy medicine. I'm fading...

Finalized hanga today. Going to show it to 翁老師 and get some advice tomorrow. Oyasuminasai.