Thursday 5 November 2009

Multicultural is as multicultural does

The topic of cultural/ethnical identity keeps popping up around me these days. First it was a fellow blogger who wanted me to specifically name myself as a 華僑 (hua2chiao2 overseas Chinese) or 台僑 (tai2qiao2 overseas Taiwanese). Then came a couple of surveys from a friend who was researching for her college thesis which had to do with Asian-American studies.

華僑 or 台橋? I think it’s a political issue and I don’t want to get into it.

The questions in my friend’s surveys however, made me think about what I had learned about my search for cultural identity over the last five years. I had almost forgotten in the midst of criticizing lousy politicians and ridiculous administrators as part of my job.

Part of the reason I came back to Taiwan, where I was born but left for the US when I was six, was to find out what it was like to be “a Taiwanese in Taiwan,” as I had always been a foreigner in the US where I grew up, and a foreigner in Japan where I last lived. The other parts were to start my career and spend some time with my parents (whom I stopped living with after going off to college). My conclusion after almost five years: “I yam what I yam,” as Popeye likes to say. Although I don’t neatly fit into any category, and I am only part Taiwanese, but I am part a lot of other things as well.

Here’s an excerpt of survey and my answers:

1. Birth place, where you grew up, what kind of environment did you grow up in
Born in Taipei, grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Father was a businessman in Silicon Valley and I went to school in Cupertino and Palo Alto, so I mostly grew up a high tech Chinese-American computer geek who got a lot of sun and played a lot of sports with a lot of American kids.

2. Were you ever exposed to any education specific to your culture?
Forced to speak a little bit of Mandarin at home. Parents spoke Taiwanese when they didn't want us to understand (but we picked up on some of it). Miserably forced to go to Chinese school for 2 hours every Friday night, but played a lot and learned very little.

3. What ethnicity do you associate yourself with?
Chinese, Taiwanese (which is more of a subculture or nationality, rather than ethnicity), Japanese (spent 2,5 years in Japan, and it really changed my life).

4. What do you think shaped your understanding of cultural identity?
When I was little, I wanted to say, "I'm American," or "I'm Chinese," or "I'm Asian-American," etc because it was clear cut. But the level of "Asian-ness" or whatever-ness in everyone is different, so there was no clean category I could jump into and feel totally comfortable. I've learned that I am what my environment has made me, whether it is the countries I've lived in, the languages I've learned or the people of different nationalities that I work/associate/are friends with, is who I am - a multi-cultural person whose values and way of doing things can be very different in various situations.

5. Do you have mixed-race parents? -what was your circumstance/upbringing like?
Both are Taiwanese whose families came from Fujian, China generations ago.

6. If you do have mixed-race parents, which do you identify most with? Why?

7. Do you feel you identify more with your ethnicity or culture?
I identify more with my potpourri of cultures.

8. When you were younger, did you identify yourself with a different culture? -Explain the situation.
Just Chinese/Taiwanese/American. Japanese part came at the tail of the growing-up process. Sometimes I identified with one more than the other, it depended on the situation. World Cup matches were difficult – I couldn’t decide who to root for when the cultures I identified were playing against each other.

9. When you think about yourself now in terms of cultural identity, how do you feel about the multiple cultures in your life?
I’ve grown up with multiple cultures in my life and I wouldn’t know my life any other way. It just is. It was hard when I was little, but I’ve made my peace. Still, sometimes it can be tricky. Occasionally there are conflicts, especially when it comes to family, especially filial piety. Argue with parents when you think they're wrong? Or hold your tongue because they're the parents? Go to an omiai they've set up for you, marry and procreate like they tell you? Or say, "No, I don't believe in that kind of thing and I don't like it"? My mother keeps asking me, “What’s wrong with the doctor?” There’s nothing wrong with the local Taiwanese man they’re trying to set me up with. He’s an excellent heart surgeon and a nice guy. We can be friends, but probably not more than that. And there’s no chemistry. So one of the downsides to being multicultural also makes it difficult for me to find a companion who is just as multicultural or has the ability to coexist with someone who is so much different in terms of cultures and values on the inside than what just the outside hints.

10. Growing up, was there more emphasis put on your native culture or the environment you grew up in?
No. Parents just didn't want us to be out of touch with Chinese culture. So we had pizza, pasta and salad for dinner as well as pan-fried noodles, stir-fried vegetables and steamed fish with soy sauce and scallions on a regular basis. We did more celebrating around Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s than Chinese New Year.

11. Have you experienced discomfort with your cultural identity?
When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be like my classmates so much that I had wished I could get an American blood transfusion to cleanse all the Asian-ness out of me. I grew up in an environment where it was only 3% Asian. Kids looked at you different when you look different. Plus I had a name that people made fun of. “Michella? That’s weird! It should be Michelle! You’re weird…” That was the worst time for me. Then I got over it. Coming back to Taiwan and attending international schools in 7th, 8th and 9th grade probably helped.

12. How strongly do your parents identify with your culture? -Family structure, emphasis on language and perceptions
My parents are much more Taiwanese and much less American & Japanese than me. But they speak English, so when I can't communicate effectively with them in Chinese, I switch to English and take over the argument. :D Then my mom flips out and does the Chinese parents thing, “You ungrateful child, we’ve raised you with so much love and this is how you repay us?!” In the end, she still wins. Dad, the much more diplomatic and international one keeps his mouth shut during the argument and then gives me candy afterwards to show he understands. Ha. But generally, they're liberal people and give me freedom to do what I want. Either that or they can’t control me.



In regards to being forced to choose between “華僑/台橋,” by a blogger, I didn’t. To me, that was a political matter. “Chinese-American” was the term we grew up with in the 80’s and 90’s in the Bay Area and it was a term to label who an Asian-looking person was ethnically. There was no “Taiwanese-American” until the DPP came into play. At that point, the “Taiwanese” part to me was all political and not something I wanted a part of because whether you’re of Chinese descent and lived in Hong Kong, Macau, Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, the US, France, Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, etc, you’re still at least part culturally Chinese. So when people see that I’m Asian and ask, “Are you Chinese?” I say, “Yes, but I’m from Taiwan,” hoping that they will understand the distinction between my ethnicity, nationality and slight difference in culture. If they don’t, then it’s not worth my time to explain to them, unless they ask. In addition, I have indigenous Taiwanese blood in me (just like 80% of the population in Taiwan), among other bloodlines. And I hold a passport issued by Taiwan’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs. It’s also nice to be associated with crowd that’s known to be better mannered and have slightly better ethical business practices compared to those on the other side of the strait.

On the other hand, if I replied, “No, I’m Taiwanese,” to me that means I’m denouncing my Chinese roots and that I don’t feel is the proper thing to do.

Asides from the difference that you can actually experience in government and in political/social freedom, I feel that the difference between being culturally/ethnically Chinese and Taiwanese is not all that big if you take Western European, Eastern European, American, South American, African, Middle Eastern, etc into consideration.

Some politicians in Taiwan try to make China and its people the enemy and vice versa. In the process, they create labels and draw lines and push people to take sides. That’s business between the politicians, not mine.

I am a multicultural person living a happy, multicultural life.

For a bilingual post on identity politics I wrote last year, please go here.





Here's me in the train on the way to Danshui last Saturday. A very different person from the anchor you saw on TV earlier that morning, eh? And it was beautiful weather, beautiful sky!



I called Dad before going, "Is the doctor coming?"
"No, don't worry," he said. When I got in, he said, "Hi Honey, give me a kiss."
After getting a kiss and a squeal out of me (he always squeezes me like a bear and his weekend, unshaven face always feels like it's going to scrape skin off my face), he says, "The doctor will be is here."
The first thought I had was, "What's wrong with his English?" Then it dawned on me that they had pulled another fast one, and it was, "OH MY GOD." In my head, I was already hard at work making up excuses to leave early.
Then when the shocked and panicking expression on my face was at its peak and my eyes couldn't grow any bigger, Dad said, "Ha-ha, just kidding. The doctor will-be is here. That's me!" I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Dr Dad and his sense of humor... Mom almost fell over laughing. Not funny.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

The funny thing about when you said, "I yam what I yam" is that yam is a cultural symbol of Taiwan. I didn't realize you were quoting Popeye, haha :)

Unknown said...

No pun intended, but...yeah, yams. Haha!

BTW, Shu Flies has some similar things to say about this here too ;)

http://shuflies.blogspot.com/2009/11/from-my-inbox-who-or-what-am-i.html

and

http://shuflies.blogspot.com/2009/11/blogging-pet-peeve.html

Enjoy!

Catherine Shu said...

I agree with a lot of what you write here. I'm very proud of being of Taiwanese descent and am the first person to explain the difference between Taiwan and China to anyone who doesn't know. But I also feel like disavowing my Chinese heritage would be insulting to my family (not to mention disingenuous and inaccurate). But, ultimately, each person has the right to decide how they define themselves, and it's unfair for anyone to bully people into politicizing the personal!

Michael Turton said...

I don't think being Taiwanese is disavowing Chinese heritage, or even Chinese rule, any more than being American means disavowing my Italian heritage (god forbid I give up pasta!).

Problem seems to be that China has constructed a political identity where being Chinese = being part of China. So everyone navigating in those eddies of identity that swirl around the Han mainstream is basically forced to make unpalatable and probably politically counter-productive choices.

I've never liked the essentialist constructions of identity so prevalent in some DPP circles, since they mean that I and my children can never become Taiwanese. One good thing the DPP does is advocate a non-racial citizenship for Taiwanese, at least formally and ideally, unlike the KMT. On the other hand, the blunt colonial instrument that is Han cultural chauvinism is even less acceptable. *sigh* It is so difficult to locate a space to be oneself.

Michella, the phrase Taiwanese-American long predates the DPP and has nothing to do with it. It was coined by the pro-Taiwan exiles in the US in the 1960s, though it did not become common currency for quite some time. After martial law was lifted and the Taiwan identity came out into the light, people started identifying as T-As.

Michael Turton

Ben Goren said...

Michella,

I'd have to agree with Michael. I think if you can regard a question about your nationality as referring to the country you feel you come from, rather than a description of your culture, then you could refer to yourself as Taiwanese, rather than Chinese, and not feel like you are disowning your heritage.

amida said...

I thought 華 as in 華人 was politically correct in that it refers to ethnicity and not nationality, and 中國(人) is the more politically charged term. No? I didn't realize you had to choose between huaqiao and Taiqiao.

Άλισον said...

The term 中國 (中華人民共和國) is used by the PRC, and the term 中華 (中華民國)is used by the KMT-ROC for referring to their respective terminologies associated with the word "country" China.

I didn't mean to ask anyone to choose between the 2 words, 華僑 and 台僑. I simply would like to find out how anyone (including Michella) will translate the word "Chinese-American" into Chinese words if a person identifies herself or himself as being from Taiwan and parents are Taiwanese.

It didn't mean bad, I only want to raise a concern that the KMT-ROC have deeply transformed (brain-washed) some Taiwanese into identity confusion through its biased educational policies.

The only thing I didn't like was that Michella said in another post's comment area that "Why can't we just love each other as human beings", and I don't know what that implies because I have always separated the Chinese people from the Chinese government, they are 2 different things. The Chinese people are oppressed by the CCP rulers just as the Taiwanese are oppressed by the KMT.

Identity is everyone's business, and I'd refer readers to an interesting article that neither the KMT nor the CCP would like to include in their textbooks.

Unknown said...

Just when I thought I had my cultural identity almost all figured out... Well, it's an ongoing search, I suppose. Maybe not just for myself either. In any case, it makes life interesting.

I really appreciate especially the academic insight from you guys :)

Mike said...

Hiya - I really enjoyed reading this post as well as Catherine's. I'm also a self-identified 華裔 but of PRC lineage. I realize the impossibility of extricating politics from the issue of ethnic identity, but for me it's particularly alarming how the term "Chinese" can be viewed so one-dimensionally. To me it smacks of a desire for othering this signifier when faced with undeniably ugly aspects of the mainland's governance. And while the political certainly shapes the cultural, to conflate the two so seamlessly is also quite ignorant. So I appreciate the rather level-headed viewpoints you've both outlined. 反正身分是自己的事兒,其他人管不著。

人妻 said...

Hな人妻たちの社交場、割り切った付き合いも当然OK!欲求不満のエロ人妻たちを好みに合わせてご紹介します。即会い、幼な妻、セレブ、熟女、SM妻、秘密、以上6つのジャンルから遊んでみたい女性を選んでください

サイドビジネス said...

1日5万円~が手に入るサイドビジネスのご案内です。男狂いのセレブ女性はネットで知り合った男を次々に金の力で食い散らかしています。そんな女性を手玉にとって大金を稼いでみませんか

Hチェッカー said...

みんなで楽しめるHチェッカー!簡単な設問に答えるだけであなたの隠されたH度数がわかっちゃいます!あの人のムッツリ度もバレちゃう診断を今すぐ試してみよう

家出 said...

最近流行の家出掲示板では、各地のネットカフェ等を泊り歩いている家出少女のメッセージが多数書き込みされています。彼女たちはお金がないので掲示板で知り合った男性の家にでもすぐに泊まりに行くようです。あなたも書き込みに返事を返してみませんか

高収入アルバイト said...

性欲を持て余し、欲求不満になっている女性を金銭の対価を得て、癒して差し上げるお仕事です。参加にあたり用紙、学歴等は一切問いません。高収入アルバイトに興味のある方はぜひどうぞ

高級チェリー said...

童貞を奪ってみたい女性たちは、男性にとって「初体験」という一生に一度だけの、特別なイベントを共に心に刻み込むことを至上の喜びにしているのです。そんな童貞好きな女性たちと高級チェリーで最高のSEXをしてみませんか

困っています。 said...

最近寂しくて困っています。夜一人で寝るのが凄く寂しいです…隣で添い寝してくれる男性いませんか?見た目とか特に気にしません。優しくて一緒にいてくれる方大歓迎☆一緒に布団で温まりましょう♪shart.enamorado.de-me@docomo.ne.jp

副収入 said...

一晩の割り切ったお付き合いで副収入が得られるサイトのご案内です。アルバイト感覚での挑戦もできる、安心の無料登録システムを採用しておりますので、興味のある方は当サイトをぜひご覧ください

スタービーチ said...

復活、スタービーチ!日本最大の友達探しサイトがついに復活、進化を遂げた新生スタビをやってみませんか?理想のパートナー探しの手助け、合コンパーティー等も随時開催しています。楽しかった頃のスタビを体験しよう

モテる度チェッカー said...

なかなか彼氏、彼女が出来ない君達の深層心理を徹底解明♪みんなでモテる度チェックをやって結果交換も自由、合コンや休み時間はモテる度チェックで暇つぶし!次にモテ期が訪れる瞬間をズバリ診断しちゃいます

¥倶楽部 said...

出会ぃも今は¥倶楽部!オンナがオトコを買う時代になりました。当サイトでは逆援希望の女性が男性を自由に選べるシステムを採用しています。経済的に成功を収めた女性ほど金銭面は豊かですが愛に飢えているのです。いますぐTOPページからどうぞ

野外露出 said...

今迄は野外露出がマイナスイメージと囚われがちですが、実際は開放的な気分になり有名人のヌーディストが、オープンになる事を推奨してるぐらいです。このサイトをキッカケに知り合った娘達と野外で楽しみませんか

高級 said...

どうしても相手がセレブだと高級感が有り、近付きにくいと思われがちですが、実際はただ欲望のままに快楽を追い求める、セレブとは掛け離れた女性が居るだけです。今こそ自分の欲望を満たすときです

人妻 said...

最近旦那とマンネリで全然Hしてません。正直もうかなり欲求不満です…誰か相手してくれる方いませんか?空いている時間は多いと思うので都合は合わせやすいと思います。お互い楽しめる関係になりたいな。人妻でも平気な人いたら是非相手してください☆一応18歳以上の人限定でお願いします。上はどこまででも大丈夫なんで excellent.lady@docomo.ne.jp

ライブチャット said...

当サイトでは無料でオナ動画を見ることができます。また、ライブチャット機能でリアルタイムオ○ニーを見るチャンスも高く、興奮間違いなしです。また、一人Hのお手伝いを希望される女性もあり、お手伝いいただけた方には謝礼をお支払いしております

スタービーチ said...

日本最大、だれもが知っている出会い系スタービーチがついに復活、進化を遂げた新生スタビをやってみませんか?趣味の合う理想のパートナー探しの手助け、合コンパーティー等も随時開催しています。楽しかった頃のスタビで遊んでみよう

モテる度 said...

あなたの異性からのモテ度数を診断できる、モテる度チェッカー!日頃モテモテで充実しているあなたもそうでないニートの方も隠されたモテスキルを測定して結果を活用し、今以上にモッテモテになること間違いなし

救援部 said...

女性のオナニーを助ける場が救援部です。ここに所属してる娘のオナニーを見て気に入ったら、実際に会ってオナニーを手伝っても良いし、エッチしても良し、これで報酬Get出来るんですから美味しいバイトですよ

スタービーチ said...

一時代を築いたスタービーチは閉鎖になりましたが、もう一度楽しい思いをしたい、もう一度出会いたいと思う有志により再度復活しました。本家以上に簡単に出会えて楽しい思いを約束します

アダルトSNS said...

昨日友達とセフレを作るのが難しいな~、出会い系サイトの規制が厳しいはとか話してて、アダルトSNSのサイトが今のところは狙い目やって聞いたから使ってみたけど、近場で楽にセフレを作れてホンマ手軽やはwww

女に生れて来たからには!! said...

誰にも言えない秘密があります。実はとってもHなんです、せっかく女として生まれたからにはアブノーマルな世界に飛び込んでみたいです☆普段では考えられないプレイを思う存分楽しみ、経験したいんです♪快楽に溺れさせてくれませんか?一緒に感じ合いましょう!!都合はつくのですぐに時間を合わせられます。18歳よりも上の方がいいです!! quietness@docomo.ne.jp

流出 said...

流出サイトでは、有名人から素人までの他では見れない秘蔵の動画を入手しています。何より素人が相手の場合に限り、アポを採る事も可能です。動画でお手軽に抜いて、抜き足らない場合は、女の子にハメて来て下さい

グリー said...

日本最大級、だれもが知っている出会い系スタービーチがついに復活、グリーより面白い新生スタビをやってみませんか?趣味の合う理想のパートナー探し、合コンパーティーに興味がある方はぜひ無料登録してみてください。楽しかった頃のスタビで遊んでみよう

SM度チェッカー said...

あなたのSM度を簡単診断、SM度チェッカーで隠された性癖をチェック!真面目なあの娘も夜はドS女王様、ツンデレなあの子も実はイジめて欲しい願望があるかも!?コンパや飲み会で盛り上がること間違いなしのおもしろツールでみんなと盛り上がろう