Who am I? 我是誰?

My passport says I'm a citizen of the Republic of China. But the people on this island where I was born and where my passport was issued call themselves "Taiwanese." At least these days, they do.

我的護照寫說我是中華民國的國民
不過在這座島，我的出生地，我的護照的發行地，這裡的人叫他們自己"台灣人"

When I was in primary school in the US and when people asked, "what are you and where are you from," I replied matter of factly, "I'm Chinese, I'm from Taiwan." My parents called themselves "中國人 Chinese." Then after high school, the term (or should I say, "identity") "Taiwanese" became popular and my parents started calling themselves "台灣人 Taiwanese." To them, it was also a way to dissociate themselves from the Chinese businessmen that they were in contact with and had a very difficult time dealing with. So taking after my parents, without any thought, I started calling myself "Taiwanese," and then I added myself "but ethnically Chinese." Although my ancestors have been in Taiwan for many generations, they are not indigenous Taiwanese. They came from Fujian I believe.

在美國讀小學的時候，當人家問我"妳哪裡來的，妳是什麼人?"
我會很理所當然的回答"我是中國人，我來自台灣"
當時，我父母都說他們是"中國人 Chinese"
後來高中的時候"台灣人"這個用詞越來越普遍，我爸媽也開始說他們是"台灣人 Taiwanese"
對他們而言，這也是他們和一些合作得很不愉快的中國商人做分割的方法
所以跟著爸媽，沒經過多少的思考，我自己也開始說我是"台灣人"
後來自己又加了"但是我是ethnically Chinese"(也就是"華人"的意思)
我的祖先好像是福建來的，我不是原住民

So I've been calling myself "Taiwanese" all this time, and my friends and acquaintances accepted it without question, much like how I did. People would rather buy Made in Taiwan products rather than Made in China products. When people come to Taiwan for travel, they buy New Taiwan Dollars to spend, rather than Renminbi. And when businessmen have a choice, they'd much rather deal with Taiwanese businessmen than Chinese businessmen. So to me, it was clear that Taiwan and China were quite separate entities.

我就很理所當然的跟人朋友和外面的人說我是台灣人
他們也很理所當然的接受我是台灣人
大家通常寧願買台灣製造的商品，比起中國製造的商品
旅客來台灣玩，得換新台幣，不是人民幣
當商人有選擇的時候，他們比較喜歡跟台灣人做生意，比起中國人
所以對我來說，台灣和中國是完全不同的實體

So I thought until I came back to Asia after univeristy. After 6 months of studying Chinese, teaching English and interning here and there in Taiwan, I left for Japan to go to graduate school. On the plane to Japan the first time, I filled out a landing form, like you have to do every time. In the "country of origin" box, I wrote "Taiwan." But when I got to immigration, the official crossed it out and wrote "China." I didn't ask. I thought the officer didn't know better or something. But that continued and I learned that in 1979, Japan and Taiwan severed formal diplomatic relations and established formal ties with China.

直到大學畢業，回來亞洲為止，就這麼想著
六個月在台灣讀中文，教英文，實習之後，我就到日本讀研究所
第一次去日本，在飛機上填表格，"戶籍地"的那一欄，我寫"台灣"
但是到了海關，我的"台灣"被畫掉，改"中國"
我當時想說"這個日本人不曉得台灣這國家吧"然後就不管他了
不過每次進入到日本，都是同樣的狀況
原來在1979年，日本和台灣斷交，和中國當好朋友去了

Then earlier this week, Malawi announced that it was breaking off ties with Taiwan. One would tend not to take notice of such a small fact, but it was a big deal here in Taiwan. With Malawi off the list, there is only 23 left. These 23 nations are made up of mostly small, third-world nations in South America and Africa and in the middle of the ocean. Taiwan's been playing dollar diplomacy to keep these guys "allies," but as soon as China matches the amount of dollars Taiwan puts in, they'll be likely to change their mind.

回到現在，這星期台灣和馬拉威斷交了
一般外國人可能不會想太多，但是在台灣可是像天要垮下來的事情
馬拉威沒有了，現在只剩下23個邦國
23邦國大部分都是中南美和非洲的小小國家
這些國家，台灣都是用金援在維持關係
不過當中國撒下同樣金額，台灣就又沒戲唱了

These days, I am officially Taiwanese only to São Tomé e Príncipe, Swaziland and a few other countries that I've hardly heard of and can whose names I can hardly pronounce. I know Swaziland is in Africa, but São Tomé e Príncipe?

所以現在，只對像是聖多美普林西比民主共和國和史瓦濟蘭等我自己幾乎沒有聽過，名子更唸不出來的國家來說，我才是個台灣人
其實我知道史瓦濟蘭在非洲，但是聖多美普林西比到底在哪呀

My biggest gain (more like loss!) this week is consciousness of my national identity; an identity that sits in limbo in the world of politics.

這星期我最大的收穫是台灣人身分的意識
或許說，這也是我最大的損失，原來在國際上，我沒有身分

Who am I? Where am I from? Maybe my coworkers are right for once - I'm from outer space.

我是誰，我是哪裡來的
或許我的同事終於說對了，我是外星人

Good thing for Taiwan's robust economy, otherwise it would probably be absorbed by China in the blink of an eye.

還有台灣有自己壯碩的經濟，要不然眼睛一扎就被中國給吸收了