Mentally and physically fatigued.
A week has gone by since coming off the half-month day/night shift, and I still can't seem to get my energy back. I've trying to get up early to jog, but to no avail. Busy evenings have kept me from going to yoga, too. I'm constantly tired and spacing out at work and falling asleep in strange places, like the video editing room as Roy is cutting away. I sleep enough at night, yet I'm still so tired and cold. My eyes are uncomfortably dry and sore too.
In addition to losing energy, I'm also losing patience. Usually, when I'm assigned something that I think is a waste of resources and the audience's time, I just do it. Yesterday, I was assigned to do a story on Nobel Laureate of Chemistry Lee Yuan-tseh (李遠哲) not coming back to Taiwan until Saturday. The media was anticipating his return because during his trip to Japan, he expressed for the first time that he supports presidential candidate Frank Hsieh (謝長廷) in an interview with Sankei News (産経ニュース), and the media wanted him to elaborate. For background, he is a man of significance because he is a scholar that openly expresses his political opinions and often makes strong statements against the government. Well, the media guessed he was returning with an entourage on Thursday, but word came out Thursday afternoon that he was to come back Saturday. I asked his secretary why, and she said that's how it was scheduled from the beginning. Despite nothing new having happened, nothing new having been said, nothing new having been analyzed, I was told to write a story on him not returning because he was not scheduled to return on that day. I think it would be sensible to write a two-sentence news brief for the anchor, but they wanted me to write an entire story. My fuse had gotten dangerously short, so I quickly finished and left the news gathering center and headed for refuge at the English news desk downstairs. There, the weather's always nice, and integrity and common sense are usually intact. I sat there until it was time to leave.
Today, I didn't wake up until Jenny called at 10h30. Still tired and immobile. The Lunar New Year holidays is 12 days away, but I wonder if I can last that long. Hopefully there won't be any "news" on Minister of Education Tu Cheng-sheng (杜正勝) to chase after until then. But that's wishful thinking. The only thing I can say to myself these days is, "look at this as practice" and take a lot of deep breaths and do things to take my mind off work and the negative energy around it.