Comments for Michella Jade Weng, Anchor 給主播翁郁容的批評指教

I've had quite a few interesting comments about me as an anchor recently. Here are some of them for your amusement.

最近有一些對於主播翁郁容的批評指教，
還蠻有趣的，和大家分享一下。

Ann (friend): Hey, my mom and I saw you anchoring last week. She wanted me to ask you, "is that your real hair?"
Me: No, that's actually a helmet. When I'm done, I take it off and put it on the next anchor. Just kidding. That really is my hair. Amazing what they can do, huh?

Ann(朋友): ㄟ，我和我媽上週末看到妳播新聞，
她要我問妳，"那是妳真的頭髮嗎？"
我: 不是，其實那是個頭盔，
我播完就拆下來，換下一位主播戴。
開玩笑啦，是我真的頭髮，
那些人可以把我頭髮變這樣，實在是有夠厲害。

Ms Su (hair stylist): I saw you anchoring a few days ago. How did your hair end up with corners on the top right and left?
Me: My friend's mom asked me if that was my real hair, and I said it's actually a helmet...
Ms Su: I can't believe they're doing this to your hair. It looks flat on top! And how did they come up with those corners out of thin air?
Me: Sigh. I don't know. Our MD was complaining that our hair's too flat and wanted me to get a perm so it stands up. She said anchors should have poofy hair, so they look more authoritative and have more of a presence. I think I'd much rather wear a helmet, but to prevent her from making me actually get a perm, let's figure something out and cut my hair so they can't possibly make it flat with corners anymore.
Ms Su: Aiya. Let's give it a shot.

Actually, the monitors inside the sub control are viewed in 4:3, and all the TV's in the station are old, so they're in 4:3, too. This is because the old standard is 4:3, so everything is shot in 4:3. But the problem is, newer TV's that people have in their homes are viewed in 16:9, so what was originally a little flat seems really really flat and I guess makes the "corners" in my head really obvious. I believe that's part of the problem. But the good thing about having strange hair (and strange make-up) on-screen is that no one (including the paparazzi) recognizes you in public. Heh heh heh. I guess I don't have to start behaving just yet.

蘇老師(頭髮造型師): 前幾天看到妳播新聞，
妳的頭髮怎麼冒出兩個角？
我: 我朋友的媽媽問說那是不是我真的頭髮，
我跟她說是頭盔...
蘇老師: 他們怎麼把妳頭髮弄成這樣？
上面看起來是扁的！
還有那兩個角，他們哪裡生出來的？
我: 嘆氣。不知道。我們經理那天說
我們頭髮都太扁了，要去燙一燙，
看起來才有主播的氣勢。
我覺得我寧願戴頭盔，
不過避免真的被抓去燙頭髮，
我們想想辦法把我的頭髮剪到
他們無法吹扁，生角。
蘇老師: 哎呀。好吧，來試試看。

其實，副空／台裡都是看4:3的monitor,
因為以往的標準就是4:3，
但是大家現在家裡都是16:9的電視，
所以原來扁扁的看起來更扁，甚至"長角"。
我認為部份問題在這。
電視上有個怪髮型（和怪妝）的好處是，
出門不會被人（包括狗仔）認出來。
嘿嘿嘿。
看來還不用開始“乖一點“。

Big bird (anchor sempai at another TV station): You being an anchor is really a pity. You have a complicated brain. You ought to be doing something suited for complicated brains.

This one got me thinking. Still thinking. I have a few ideas. Stay tuned. ;)

大鳥(別台的主播前輩): 妳當主播可惜了。
妳是個腦筋複雜的人，
應該去做一些腦筋複雜的事。
這個讓我想了好幾下，現在還在想。
已經有幾個想法了，別走開喔。 ;)